Updated: Mar 20
I’ve always loved creating ever since I was young. I guess it’s because my mother is quite the creator herself. However, I never really thought of myself as a good artist. I’ve always just loved creating. I’ll draw here and there, paint every now and then but it’s only because I enjoy it. I, too, am pretty athletic and I love sports. I’m a ‘sporty guy’ so my friends call me. I find that watching and playing sports boosts my creativity. Seeing players make impossible plays like finding or creating angles so hard to see yet they make it happen. They create something beautiful and mesmerizing at times. I love that even athletes are so amazing at creating.
I built a lot of my identity into being an athlete. I thought this was my purpose. However, that plan that goal of being one didn’t go the way I thought it would. I found myself failing. I saw myself as a failure. Suddenly, trying has become something I didn’t want to do anymore. It was very difficult to create things let alone trying. I was afraid. Even watching or playing sports was not quite the same anymore. It was a moment where I thought Ezra James would not be here anymore.
During this difficult time in my life, friends continued to create. They were not all necessarily artists. Most of them were students going into adulthood like me. It wasn’t just paintings or artworks that they created but something beautiful in their own little way. I was very inspired by them. They continue to try and try for something they loved or wanted to do. Some took quite a long time. Some even longer. Some still trying. During that time, I’ve learned to appreciate them and what they’ve created. It was not just passion that drove them but their purpose. They were scared yet they continue. Their love for whatever they do overflowed more than what they feared would happen if they didn’t do them. Because they wanted to make it happen and they continue to make it happen. They create something that is bigger than themselves. I wanted that. I needed that.
So, I decided to try again. I very much appreciate my people for that. A big reason of why I’m still here. I’m still very scared but I want to be able to create not just for me. Now, I’m more afraid of not trying. It’s given me a new sense of purpose. Putting my passions on that purpose has been a great deal of help in what I want to achieve and how to get them. So even if I fail or don’t, same purpose. And yes, sports is still very much one of my passions. I’ve learned to love it again. I’m now more than an athlete. I am more than who I want to be or what I think I am. I am capable of so much more. Striving for more.
My hope is to be able to create something that will encourage people to be more than who they are. So they could see that they are more than capable of being more than who they are.
Still here, still trying.